Did you know the relationships we form with other people are vital to our mental and emotional wellbeing, and really, our survival? Strong supportive relationships are key to good health. Research suggests that having healthy social relationships makes a bigger impact on avoiding early death than taking blood pressure medication or being exposed to air pollution. One study even suggests that a lack of social relationships has the same effect on health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
As part of his research, relationship expert John Gottman conducted a study with newlyweds and then followed up with them six years later. Many of the couples had remained together. Many had divorced. The couples that stayed married were much better at one thing — Turning Towards Instead of Away. At the six-year follow-up, couples that had stayed married turned towards one another 86% of the time. Couples that had divorced averaged only 33% of the time. The secret of any healthy relationship you value is turning towards a bid for attention.
A bid is any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection. Watch this video to learn more about a bid, https://youtu.be/ib7Ain2aVR0
To “miss” a bid is to “turn away.” Everyone knows how that feels. Think about talking to someone staring at their phone, TV or something else and not giving you the attention you were looking for.
Turning towards a bid starts with paying attention. It is critical to your health and happiness to start paying attention when people you care about give you a bid. Are you choosing to let them know they are not as important to you as they would like to be? Turning towards a bid is a choice. Make sure you are making the best choices for your health and happiness.
(Aspiring to be a) Joy Spreader
