This photo is of the women who raised me. I am on the far right. (L to R: My mother, sister, cousin Carol, grandmother, and aunt). Their influence poured into me like an empty cup. I drank it up. I look at the five of them and know that I have all of them with me still. They are my better angels. They made me who I am today. Only my sister (and brother) and I are left now.
Last Sunday my cousin Carol had a massive stroke and fought hard to come back but could not make it. She would be 65 this month. Gone too soon. Her family is devastated as expected, as am I. We need to fully absorb the blow and morn her loss. But after some time, we need to count our blessing for having her in our lives as a devoted mother, wife, sister, cousin, daughter, and friend. As her husband reminded me, “I never heard her say an unkind word to anyone. She helped everyone.”
She was like a sister to me. She was always there when I needed her and always a good listener, with wise advice. She was very smart. A memory like no one I have known. She could remember every detail about our shared history and family memories. When I forgot something, I would just need to ask Carol for the details. She had them.
She made me laugh all the time. She always made me feel better for having been with her. We had started meeting for summer picnics and having a great many laughs. She had a benign brain tumor that was changing her face, she would be the one to make you laugh about it and feel more comfortable. She could make me laugh about anything. A special gift.
It will be hard to continue on without such a lovely influence in my life, but I am trying to think about how I can honor her in my life to continue to have her with me. I know she would want her loved ones to not be sad and to find the humor, to celebrate her life and help others as she would. I think if I strive to do that, I honor her and think of her. It is where she would want me to head. She was a joy-spreader after all.
Most in life, Carol wanted a happy family, and I will be forever grateful to her husband Brian, sons Brett and Chad for giving her that. I am saying prayers of comfort, strength, and peace for all of them in the days ahead.
