I am guilty of not giving someone the attention they deserve. I know that every time I look at my phone while in a conversation with someone, I am saying, “you are not holding my attention and I may be looking for something more important than our current conversation.” I am working on doing better. I have also noticed that I am not alone.
We just returned from a three-day weekend away and I noticed a lot of people fracturing their attention while spending time together. This included families and friends all looking at their phones simultaneously while out to dinner, instead of engaging with who they chose to be on vacation with. I saw parents reviewing their phone messages while missing precious time with their children. I noticed the kids looking to connect to their parents but they were not there for them, they were engaged elsewhere. It made me sad for all of them. Intimacy is the price we are paying for efficiency or distraction.
I am trying to get better at paying attention on purpose by putting down my phone, silencing it or even turning it off in order to better appreciate the moment I am in. I have to remind myself I am in control of my devices and not at their mercy. Is there any greater compliment we can give someone than giving them our full attention?
“We’re like a gardener with a hose and our attention is water – we can water flowers or we can water weeds.” – Josh Radnor
