A question I am asked fairly often in the last 15 years is, “I heard about your bookclub and am wondering if can join?” While I would love to say yes to everyone it is not up to just me and as a group we have been together for over 15 years. During that time we have shared a lot and grown as a group. I just love that we are there to support each other or sympathize or just try to help with life’s issues as best we can. We can’t solve everyone’s problems but we can offer friendship and support.
I recently read a fascinating article about addictions and their possible root. It boiled down to we need to feel connected to people and if we don’t we might get connected to a bad habit in attempt to feel a greater connection to something. I think there is a great deal of truth to the idea that we need to be connected in a healthy way or we will seek it in places that are not as good for us. Another study I read about breast cancer patients and their rate of survival is greater if they feel they have a support network. There are a lot of up sides.
Look at the success of on-line dating, bookclubs, dinner clubs, clubs in general. We are not here to do this on our own. We need connections – actual physical relationships not just virtual friends. We need eye contact, a touch, a pat on the back, a shoulder to lean on. That requires an investment and a risk. On our Happy Go Lucky Girl website we have a Resource page that points the way to do just that; get connected in person. People should not be embarrassed about reaching out to others to start a group – everyone craves it, it is an innate desire. Every time you are reaching out to someone you are enriching another life as well.
When we started our bookclub it took one person to reach out to about ten other acquaintances. Fifteen years later we meet once a month, the host makes a light supper and picks the next book. Someone needs to be the driver and keep it on track though. We have wine and lots of laughs and read things out of our comfort zones. Frankly it is not about the books, it is about building friendships. I know that is shocking. I encourage everyone to be the driver and find people for your own club whatever it may be!
“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” MLK
